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Relationship Information.... from Heart-Links.com |
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Maybe Not Bones, But Hearts...And Worse: The Destructive Power of Simple SpeechOut of the blue, slap bang in the middle of a working day, an unexplained sensation inside your mouth breaks your concentration. You have deadlines to meet, and you react merely by immersing yourself with new determination in the task in hand. At least until the next day, when the mild discomfort has progressed to a stabbing pain. Any wishful thinking that the fate of the whole world depends on your finishing your work is now irrelevant. When you reach the dentist, he shakes his head sympathetically and jabs a needle right into your gums. Wonderful thing, these anesthetics. The ache is gone even before he lays a finger on that troublesome tooth! Now, let's imagine you were created with a kind of natural anesthetic, that washed your mouth continuously so that you never got toothache. Good? Probably not. You'd never know when a tooth needed attention, until it would be far too late. Horrified and sickened..Problem is, this isn't as far fetched as it may seem. You see, you get anesthetics for the body, and other anesthetics for the mind.A former teacher, John Andrew Murray, wrote in Teachers in Focus magazine about his experiences with an English class at a private American school. In order to spice his lessons, Murray was using the old television series, "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" each week to teach his students about plot development. After a few weeks, he decided to stop the show before the end and let the students write their own endings. The students liked the ideas so much that they wanted to read their work aloud in class. After about the third student, he put a stop to the reading aloud. What the teacher had heard horrified and sickened him. When he later discussed with them the very explicit imagery of violence he had found in their papers, Murray's students were quick to insist that media violence didn't affect them because the graphic scenes they saw on TV and films were "fake". Murray then asked them how they would feel if they saw a dog on TV getting riddled with bullets. "How horrible!" they cried out in unison. Murray concludes that unlike the human carnage they regularly witnessed on TV, his students had found animal deaths appalling because they had seldom seen it. For the first time, they realized how desensitized they had become to violence. Sad, isn't it? The truth is, with most human beings the desensitization process goes even further. Much further. Sometimes, it's good. ( We eventually "get over" a loss, or forget a traumatic episode.) More often, it's anything but good. Remarkable human talentTake the remarkable human talent for hurting others by what we say.At times, it's deliberate; we WANT to inflict verbal pain on our friends -whether we admit it or not. (Often, this is to compensate ourselves for imagined feelings of inferiority). At other times, we don't intend to offend, but do so nonetheless. It's the art of anesthesia again. We've become desensitized. A seemingly innocuous example. A friend may have a spouse, child, or parent who's critically ill. We unwittingly reassure her: "Don't worry, everything will be fine." She's not comforted. Just the reverse. She knows everything won't be fine. For that matter, why tell a friend who bought herself a new dress last week, even if she asks for your opinion, that it looks terrible on her? (I'm assuming it's already too late for her to do anything about it; if she can, that might be different, provided you tell her the right way!) I won't even talk here of purposeful innuendos, backhanded compliments, slurs and insults. At all times, people who really want to spread love in the world should take extra care with their speech. Do you remember the schoolyard chant: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me! Utter tripe! OK, words may be rarely able to break bones, but they can break our hearts, our spirits, even our reputations. And yes, our ability to develop and maintain meaningful relationships. Azriel Winnett is creator of Hodu.com - Your Communication Skills Portal. This popular free website helps you improve your communication and relationship skills in your business or professional life, in the family unit and on the social scene. New articles added almost daily.
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Relationships - Google News | | | | RELATED ARTICLES But Its Just the Guys -- The Importance of Sacrifice in Relationships If it's a long-term relationship you want, you absolutely must be willing to make a few sacrifices to invest in your happy future with the woman of your dreams. You simply cannot continue to live the happy-go-lucky life of the single guy and expect to make your partnership with a woman succeed. How Valentine's Day Gifts Can Expose a Cheating Husband If you have the nagging feeling that your husband may be having an affair, this is the ideal time to confirm what you suspect. The Valentine's Day gifts he gives or receives can provide you with tangible proof of his infidelity. Healing The Mid-Life Love Crisis All I wanted was to fall in love and live happily ever after. The End. Lists, Lists, and More Lists Every person that thinks something is amiss in their relationship wants to know, what are the signs that my partner is cheating on me. Well guess what! These signs can leave you with more doubts than anything else. Why Doesnt She Leave Him? It's very easy to look, from the outside, at another woman's unhappy relationship and ask: 'Why on earth does she stay with him?'It's especially easy if the man in question exhibits the subtle charm of Attila the Hun - or the social graces of Fat Bast*rd in Austin Powers. Some abusive men parade their hostility and prejudices as proudly as if they were merits. Fight, Flight, or Loving Action Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When fear is present, adrenaline pours into our system to prepare us to fight or flee - from the tiger, the bear, the lava from the volcano?. Think INSIDE the Square to Keep Those Love Fires Burning I was sitting in my sanctuary in my back yard contemplating the world's mysteries and minding my own business when a fellow neighbor walked up to me and started a conversation. As he looked a little distressed, I invited him into my little spiritual oasis and offered him a cup of coffee. 7 Myths About Good Guys It is every woman's dream to meet a "Good Guy" who will sweep her off her feet and transform into her knight in shinning armor. It is quite interesting to talk to women and listen to their ideas of what a "Good Guy" is. Relationship Advice: Words Can Hurt or Heal "Stick and stones, may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."Remember that little rhyme from childhood?It's wrong. Sacred Relationships: Divine Source Questions and Answers from Divine Source Through Barbara Rose1. What is a "Sacred Relationship"?2. A Diamond Anniversary Ring - The Perfect Way To Seal Your Love Some time ago you both made a promise. A promise to each other. Love and Life Lessons Recent events in my life have taught me that the best thing to do in any situation is just to love people. 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Just don't let her catch you rummaging in her underwear drawer or she might get the wrong idea!!Then take yourself down to the nearest lingerie outlet (try a big department store - you'll get more help choosing and you'll get extra brownie points for the effort), find someone to help you and tell them the size you need. Being Dumped, Just Plain Sucks! Today I received a question from a guy. Here is what he said:"Posted by Anonymous The last woman I was involved with was quite full of herself. |
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