| |
| |
|
Relationship Information.... from Heart-Links.com |
|
Are you (or are you with) a Commitment-Phobe?We hear it all the time. "He just won't make a commitment." "She just wants some space right now." "I'm not sure if I'm ready for a serious relationship." What does having a fear of commitment really mean? Actually, it means basically what it says. For SOME reason you, or someone you are involved with, isn't ready to take this relationship (or any relationship) to the next step. So how do we know if we or our (hoped for) partner are truly afraid of commitment? How do we know that it's not something else? Is there any real difference between these two anyway? Do these excuses sound familiar? "I'm just under a lot of stress right now." "It's not you, it's me." "I can't focus on a relationship right now because of my overloaded schedule." Very often, we want to accept these reasons because we fear the real truth. Other times, we are just very confused by our feelings and the often mixed messages from the other person. So, how do we evaluate our ability to make a long-term commitment? How do we know if he/she is really ready or willing? There are only two real issues here to examine. The first issue involves looking at a true fear of commitment itself. If this is the problem it's important for the person with this fear to ask themselves a few key questions. Are you concerned about the idea of forever? If you answered yes to any of these, it would be a good idea to begin working to understand where these feelings come from. Once you understand them better, you can choose to address them. Perhaps you need more time or emotional growth before you consider making a long-term commitment. There can be several factors that influence your fear. Explore these and arm yourself with a plan to put them to rest. If you would like to deal with past relationship feelings, understand if you are relationship ready or evaluate your self-awareness, go to http://www.consum-mate.com/articles.htm for articles that can assist you with these issues. Greater self-knowledge will help you to overcome this block to building a lasting and satisfying relationship. The second issue is the inability to make a commitment to a PARTICULAR relationship. This may not be the right one. Perhaps there is a sense of this but it is written off to being a "commitment -phobe" in general. Focus on the true level of involvement with each other. Is there a genuine connection? Or is there a vague feeling of something missing? Evaluate the quality of your intimate relating. This does not mean how often (or even how good) the sex is. This is about how open, sharing and real you are in your interactions with each other. Does any of this sound familiar? It seems like we are only killing time? He/she doesn't seem to want what I want. We seem to be off and on in our level of contact/affection. I/they are still not over a past relationship. I/they just don't seem to know what I/they want. Remember to focus on the involvement or lack thereof between you. If either person is disengaged in any way, it's time to address the real issue of; "Is this the right relationship for us?" Exploring your ability to make a lasting commitment should be a first step in your plan for building a healthy and lasting relationship. Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach with over 20 years of experience. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune and The Orlando Sentinel newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, and Star magazines. She has been featured on ABC News; Discovery Health Channel and AOL Online. As a weekly contributing commentator on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO), Toni offers dating tips and relationship advice in response to listener feedback. Toni founded Consum-mate.com in 2002 to offer singles the knowledge and tools they need to find and sustain healthy, lasting love relationships. She is a member of The International Coach Federation, and The International Association Of Coaches.
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News | | | | RELATED ARTICLES The Flames of Love Suppose you have everything; a good job, good health, good reputation, good relationships and lot of money to spend. But still there is something missing from your life. Communicate What You Feel: How to be Understood By Those You Love Good communication is of fundamental importance in intimate relationships. The ability to accurately differentiate between the internal experiences of feeling, thought and sensation is basic to this process. What Is A Boundary In A Relationship? You might ask yourself, I have heard this word boundary, but I do not know what it means. Boundaries are often mentioned in terms of relationships. Whos Watching You? Men Arent The Only Stalkers For decades, the label "stalker' has been tattooed as a gender-specific crime, committed by men. Things have changed drastically. Engaged, In Love, and In Limbo Well, here I am very much in love and starting to plan my August wedding, when Murphy's Law sets in.I remember it as a full moon night. Soul Mate Myths But the cold truth is that most people have never known the inner radiance of their own soul. Instead, they cling to the many myths about the soul mate relationship that are simply not true. Lingerie Buying Advice For Guys Buying lingerie for your lover can be one of the most romantic things you can do. It's an intimate gift which, if you get it right, shows you really care, really do understand her and have put the effort in to really think about a gift she will like. Womens Cosmic Personality Quiz: Are You a Star Woman or an Earth Mother? Star Women are visionary leaders, and focused on the future. Earth Mothers are focused on nurturing, caring, and giving. 3 Principals That Will Keep a Long Lasting Relationship Many of us have had a broken heart and hurt feeling because the relationship that we had didn't work out. It's ok, we are not made to be a perfect human being but we can learn from our experience and move on toward our future. Love - Entrepreneur Style For many of us, love has become a distant ideal. Often, we don't don't even spend much time thinking about sharing our lives with anyone else. Coping with Your Difficulties in Yourself Ashleigh Brillant once said""Coping with difficult people is always a problem, particularly if the difficult person happens to be yourself."Can you identify with this statement? Often, when things are not going well, we wonder what the problem is. Relationship Advice: 3 Kinds of Love There are three kinds of love:love as a feeling, love as a decision/choice, and love as an action.The confusion of these three kinds of love is the cause of much needless pain and suffering. Single in a Couples World Advertising for St. Valentine's Day seemed more relentless than ever this year. Relationship Advice: 7 Strategies for a Great Relationship 1. CommitmentTrue commitment means much more than simply committing to staying married. Add Trust To Your Relationship Trust is something that is important to every single relationship you have. No matter if it is a relationship of friends, family, or even a relationship of lovers; trust must be there to make it successful. Its Your Fault I Had An Affair! When you read it like that, out of context, you'd be hard pressed to believe that anyone would have the nerve to come up with it as a serious justification for infidelity. Yet film star Jude Law has, allegedly, used this astonishing piece of sleight of mouth to justify a recent fling with his children's nanny. Is The Internet A Miracle Cure For Loneliness? A few years ago a surprising survey discovered that people who spent a lot of time on the Internet were a lot lonelier than people who didn't spend much time on the Net.This was an unexpected find because many people view the Internet and e-mail as a great way to make and keep connections with other people. Long Distance Love Before the advent of the internet, long-distance relationships were rare. Most people met their mates in school, through a friend or neighbor, at a party or in a bar. Second Fiddle I have been seeing a married man for the past nine months. He is unhappy but says he is not ready to leave his kids. Forgiveness "The important thing to remember when it comes to forgiving is that forgiveness doesn't make the other person right; it makes you free." --Stormie OmartianHow do we know if we need to forgive someone, something, or even ourselves? We know because we feel a gnawing sadness inside of us, although we may not know the cause. |
| home | site map | Heart-Links.com Site | Start Your Online Business for Just $8.95 |
| © 2006 |
