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Positive Attitudes.... from Heart-Links.com |
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The Enchanted Self - Thats Each of Us!In my years as a psychologist, I have come to believe that most people seeking psychotherapy are unhappy. This is not only due to earlier hurts and traumas, as well as present frustrations and problems, but because they cannot access earlier happy moments often enough. The unfortunate result is not being able to experience enough positive states of well-being. It is these unique states of well being that I have come to label THE ENCHANTED SELF. Many scientists of human behavior recognize that we do not yet, and perhaps never can, fully understand human nature. I have become more and more convinced that we do not. What interests me, is that we do not fully understand some people, who have apparently fortunate lives but experience little joy, while others, apparently less fortunate, experience great joy. Perhaps we have tried too hard to understand pathology in our science of psychology, and have not tried hard enough to recognize and understand what I call ego-states, or happiness. When I first began to analyze the data from the women I interviewed, I kept trying to understand how their enchanted adult lives evolved from the childhoods they talked about. I found that although there seemed to be some clear connections, many others were not clear at all. The capacities of these women to reclaim positive aspects of their childhood, while discarding the dysfunction that was often also present, was astounding to me. It seemed as if a magic wand had been tapped on the women's heads in their adult lives. For example, when Edith talked about her childhood, she at first remembered only its dysfunctional aspects: the fighting between her parents and their constant criticality. I suggested that we go back and look again at her childhood to identify times when, in spite of the pain of family life, she felt excited about her own life and about herself. With this encouragement, she could separate out positive memories of herself from dysfunctional family experiences. She started remembering some wonderful times: delightful family picnics, fishing with her grandfather, and more. An activity you can do to start on the positive road of Enchantment: What are some golden moments in your childhood when you felt particularly happy? These moments can be from any age, from your earliest memories through early adulthood. When you find a golden memory, enjoy it. See yourself at that age and experiment with letting different senses reconnect to that happy time. Can you remember the way your body felt? Can you remember what activity you were engaged in? Were there any aromas? What was the weather like? How did things look around you? What did your mood feel like? Take time to really enjoy this happy memory of yourself. I wish you a joyful journey. I hope that your life feels whole and that you find your past, whether beautiful or painful, a repertoire of talents and capabilities is that are uniquely yours. I hope that your talents, capacities and potential will give you a sense of well being as they thrust you into the world in meaningful ways. About The Author Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein , originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books, and free gifts at http://www.enchantedself.com. Chat with others in Dr. Holstein's e-group, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself/join, and sign up for her free e-group at www.enchantedself.com. Order her book, THE ENCHANTED SELF: A Positive Therapy, or the CD-rom or tape version and her book RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT: The Secret Ingredient is YOU!, or the ED-rom version, at her website.
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Positive-Attitude - Google News | | | | RELATED ARTICLES Change Your Attitude from a Whiner to a Winner Who are the Whiners? Whiners are the people who always seem to have those hard-luck stories whether it pertains to their relationships, money, or health. You'll notice that even if they resolve one of their frustrating issues, they will immediately have another one to take its place. Community After Tragedy One Friday in November, I began a journey from New Jersey to downtown New York City to visit old work friends. It was my first visit since the tragic September 11th attack. Attitude = Altitude, Its Really Up To You! Quote of the week:"Of all the attitudes we can acquire, surely the attitude of gratitude is the most important and by far the most life-changing." - Zig ZiglarYou can, and should develop an attitude of gratitude. Embrace Change We all have a unique way of communicating our story, a way that reflects our life experience. The photographer uses a camera, the artist a brush, and the musician a melody or rhythm. Mindfulness and Money: Monkeying Around Kasia is a talented landscape designer who speaks several languages, and when she jokes about being a "Polish princess" it's because she actually has the pedigree to support that claim.That's not why she's amazing. Positive Self Talk - What Should You Say? How do you explain things to yourself? With positive self talk or negative? What we say to ourselves radically affects the quality of our lives, and our ability to do things effectively. How useful is it to always tell yourself "impossible," "more problems," "never," and "I can't?"Below are some of the things that positive and negative people say. Creative Visualization For Successful Goal Achievement No one becomes successful by accident. Motivational speaker Les Brown advises, "You must see your goals clearly and specifically before you can set out for them. The Enchantress Within Each of Us Returns-Making Potholders, One Stitch at a Time! When I was little I was very busy--as I imagine most little girls are. At six years of age I had my toys, my fire station with a real bell, my fire trucks and other cars, my paper dolls, my coloring books and large box of Crayola assorted crayons, my picture books and stuffed animals. The Illusion of Failure The most dangerous thing is illusion. ~ Ralph Waldo EmersonFailure is impossible. Establish What you Want with NLP Recently, a lady came to see me and she had successfully stopped smoking with me and as she had enjoyed the success after 30 years of trying and failing to stop smoking, she was so happy that she felt capable of doing anything. She brought in what looked like a shopping list of things in her life that she wanted to change!Just last week, I also got an email from someone that receives this ezine of mine, and they wanted all sorts of different things to happen in their life, and couldn't decide what to focus on. Changing Stumbling Blocks To Stepping Stones? "The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is how you use them." - UnknownIt is not really what happens to us that matter but how we react to it. Life, The Greatest Ride of All Life is the greatest roller coaster ride we will ever take. The ups and downs, the unexpected changes, the twists and turns, are all a part of living. Mindfulness: Youre Soaking In It! Looking for a bit more mindfulness in your daily life? Relax. You're soaking in it!Perhaps you remember Madge the Manicurist, a television commercial character who commiserates with her clients about their chapped hands. Thinking About Attitude Attitude, has a way of preening itself, often without awareness of the individual. A posture, a stance, a belief, attitude bestows identify upon us as naturally as air gives life. Harness The Power Of Words In Your Life Speaking comes to most people as naturally as breathing. On many occasions our words are uttered without conscious thought; in fact we rarely stop and think about what we are saying. Using The Negative in a Positive Way - God Does It All the Time I loved Norman Vincent Peale's, Power of Positive Thinking as much as any book I have ever read. I have read Napoleon Hill's books and I am an ardent believer in almost everything Dale Carnegie ever wrote. Do You Neglect The Power Of Your Mind? James Allen, who wrote the masterpiece, As a Man Thinketh, talks about the vital power of the mind in creating success. "All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct results of his own thoughts. Feeling Grouchy? Heres What to Do I woke up this morning feeling sour.No. Short Cut to Self-Confidence: Say Yes to You! You are the only one that can give confidence to yourself. I've learned this over many years of looking for recognition in all the wrong places, from other people. Prescience "The knowledge of actions or events before they occur; foresight."You don't need no gypsy fortune teller, no prophet or prognosticator, no futurist or crystal ball gazer, no tea leaf reader or seer, no horoscope or haruspex; no augury is necessary. |
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