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Marriage & Wedding Information.... from Heart-Links.com |
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Legislating Morality: The Sanction of MarriageBiologically, a coupling between male and female (with some very rare exceptions like aphids, mites, and some lizards) is required for procreation, critical for survival of the species. On the other hand, marriage is a human social contract, historically accepted as the optimum means of raising offspring who require years of care before they become independent. Divine blessing on the union is important to many but marriage in the eyes of religion is totally separate from the civil contract of marriage itself. It is the civil contract which has legal standing for government programs like social security and which can be severed by the courts in divorce proceedings. As a social contract between two individuals, the presumption that one must be male and one must be female is irrelevant. Marriage is certainly an emotional and legal commitment. Once two individuals make the choice that they will spend the rest of their lives together, society approves the decision, notwithstanding the fact that only half of us will be able to permanently remain in that relationship. It is approved because it is a force for stability and responsibility, both vital if a culture is to thrive. Most married couples have children; many do not. Child rearing is therefore only one aspect of the state of matrimony, not the sole reason for its existence. So why the outcry against same-sex marriage which brings the same forces of stability and responsibility to society as do heterosexual unions? I suggest that the widespread movement against gay marriage is not really directed at marital vows at all but is a revolt against homosexuality itself. Rather than supporting gays by letting them receive legal sanction for their relationships, we want to punish them. They have stepped outside the bounds of our experience. They make us feel uncomfortable. We see a young man and a girl kissing on the street and smile. We see two young men kissing and emotionally recoil. Most heterosexuals cannot understand gays and unconsciously think that there is "something wrong" with them. (Until 20 years ago, homosexuality was listed as a mental disorder!) If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, gays are from another galaxy. Because of our discomfort or, in many cases, disgust, we try to legislate them out of existence. The courts, and the culture at large, will not allow us to get rid of them. All we have left is an ability to relegate them to a less-than-equal status by denying them an important social right: marriage. That denial, codified in 11 states on election night, 2004, revealed a fearful desire to legislate morality and conduct according to a pre-conceived idea of what is right and wrong for everyone regardless of their religious, moral, humanistic, or sexual preferences. The morality crusade that was Prohibition was possibly the most destructive social experiment ever attempted. Not only did it fail to stop the use of alcohol, but led to the rise of organized crime which still holds sway some 80 years later. We can successfully legislate against behaviors that hurt society -- murder, theft, violence and other dangerous acts -- because society benefits when its members are safe and protected. To suggest that the safety of the world can be threatened by two same-sex individuals reciting vows of commitment before a local official is preposterous. The will to legislate against such an act reflects only our idea to withhold, to punish, to declare before all that it is only our values which matter and that we are right, divinely right. Virginia Bola is a licensed clinical psychologist with deep interests in Social Psychology and politics. She has performed therapeutic services for more than 20 years and has studied the results of cultural forces and employment on the individual. The author of an interactive workbook, The Wolf at the Door: An Unemployment Survival Manual, and a monthly ezine, The Worker's Edge, she can be reached at http://www.virginiabola.com
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Marriage-Wedding - Google News | | | | RELATED ARTICLES Wedding Reception Made for You No matter how well you plan all the aspects of the wedding, one deciding factor on how well it goes is based upon the wedding reception-site. All kidding aside, having it "rain on your special day" is certainly not the ideal wedding reception environment for most people. Wedding Planning -- Staying Within Your Wedding Budget Planning and organizing a wedding budget can greatly reduce the stress of putting together a wedding. The very thought of a wedding conjures up images of finery and elegance, music and dance, fun, frolic and lavish spreads. How to Lower a Wedding Cake Price I recall how Mrs. Ingridman taught me invaluable lessons on how to lower a wedding cake price while still going for the classiest of cakes. How A Marriage Counseling Secret Can Save Your Marriage How do you react if your spouse announces "I want a divorce" or something similar? With shock? Surprise? Outrage?If these are your reactions, you've got plenty of company. Thousands of spouses each year have this same experience. Make Sure You Do: Before You Say "I Do" Tina Turner asked an important question in the title of her hit song; What's Love Got To Do With It? Yes love is important but love don't pay the bills. It is not be enough to be "in love. Outdoor Wedding Ceremonies - Keeping Your Guest Comfortable According to a survey conducted in 2003 by Bride's magazine, 15% of all couples choose an outdoor wedding, and that trend is growing. But with a all of the beauty and simplicity that an outdoor wedding brings, it also brings added anxiety from the force known as Mother Nature. Honeymoon Vacation Ideas can be Economical If you are looking for honeymoon vacation ideas that will be the most enjoyable without putting you into massive debt, consider some of these tips.The purpose of the honeymoon vacation is only minimally to live for a few days like extravagant royalty. Hot Wedding Trend: Platinum Wedding Rings In our hungry-for-anything new pop culture world, celebrities are often the ones that can start a hot fashion trend seemingly overnight. With their heavy media exposure, they are often photographed wearing the latest styles in fashion and jewelry. Beach Wedding Cakes Looking for beach theme wedding cake ideas?When it comes to wedding cakes, long gone are the days of following tradition. Since you are considering a beach theme wedding cake, you are obviously not a slave to those traditions. Expressions of Devotion: Buying Engagement Rings, Wedding Rings, and Wedding Bands Online Ritual symbolism abounds in everything we do; this is particularly the case when an individual commits their love and devotion to another and offers a promise of marriage. The custom of offering and exchanging engagement rings and wedding bands is a time honored tradition rich in symbolism and meaning that has been carried on for centuries. Alternatives to Diamond Rings - What Choices Do You Have? There is little doubt that planning a wedding can be one of the most expensive times in your life, and the various costs can seem particularly draining as you struggle to find the funds to allow you set up home and begin your new life together. So for many couples, jewelry is not a priority at this time, but as even frugal lovers want to celebrate their love by purchasing an engagement ring, many couples are wondering whether there are any good alternatives to diamond rings available. The Enigma of Daytime Bachelor Party Activities As most of you know the evening festivities for a bachelor party are already pre-determined. They usually involve some combination of limos, nightclubs, and gentlemen's clubs. Prenuptial Agreements "Til death do us part" is still the language used in most weddings. Couples enter marriage with the hope of making a lifetime commitment. Writing Your Own Wedding Vows Your wedding vows are the words that will forever remain in your partner's heart and memory. So you want to ensure that you express exactly what you are feeling and how much you love them. Bridezilla Bride!? Nobody, I repeat nobody likes a bridezilla bride. If you feel this feeling taking hold of your higher thinking processes fight it! Fight it will every fiber of your being, if you don't your friends may never forgive you. Prenuptial Agreements: The Deal Breaker? So you're toying with the idea of getting married? Maybe somebody has mentioned a Prenuptial Agreement (Prenupt) or maybe you've never thought of it before. Regardless, just as you're an educated consumer you might also want to take a look at the advantages of having a prenuptual agreement before leaping into marriage. Expert Tips on Making Your Own Wedding Stationery Vital tips on making your own wedding invitations - by Claire, Invitation Express Wedding Stationery SoftwareIf you want to design and print your own wedding stationery and don't know where to start, here are a few tips that hopefully will get you on your way.You should select your design before firming up your ideas on paper and cards etc. Wedding Centerpiece Ideas Everybody who has decided to marry wants their day to be special and they want every aspect of their day to be just so. When it comes right down to it just how important are your wedding centerpiece ideas?Think about this, how many times have you noticed a centerpiece? Has it been to say "what a fantastic display" or "how unusual" or has it been to comment on what a poor arrangement as you move it out of your way? Personally I have done all three but the last one happens the most. How to Find The Perfect Wedding Dress You want the perfect wedding dress, so you have made it a major focus of your pre wedding planning. There are some things you need to find from the bridal shop, before you even look at your first gown. Marriage Dreams When Fails! Marriage and Attraction: Relation is successful as long as there is attraction between the partners. Attraction of actions, attentiveness, beauty, behaviour, caring nature, sexual satisfaction and etc, contribute to prolong relation. |
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