| |
| |
|
Humor & Fun.... from Heart-Links.com |
|
The Work-from-home Fashion PrimerLast week, I reported how writers, stay-at-home parents and online marketing geeks had chosen careers as hermits: http://www.thehappyguy.com/hermit.html Thousands of work-from-home hermits responded, confessing that they were wearing their pajamas while reading my column. Fortunately very few sent me photos. Here are some of the questions they asked: Q: Is it acceptable to wear pajamas at high noon if Nobody sees me, or am I committing a fashion faux-pas. A: It is totally acceptable to wear pajamas at high noon. You can even wear them at low noon. In fact, you can wear them all day long. The only exception is in England you must not wear pajamas at tea time. Pajamas and tea don't mix. The combination can be lethal. (See the November 2002 report: "Spontaneous combustion among British work-at-home hermits.") Q: How should I handle "casual Fridays" in my workplace? A: I have replaced casual Fridays with "formal Thursdays". Every Thursday, I take my daughter to the play center, forcing me to shower, shave and don formal wear. Don't go overboard, though. My three-piece suit includes jeans, t-shirt and shoes. Q: But what if I never go out? A: Then stick to casual Fridays. Why not make Friday the day you wash your pajamas? All Nobody will see is the back of your chair, anyway. Q: What if FedEx Guy comes to the door? A: Tell FedEx Guy it's casual Friday, and ask him if he really wants to see how work-from-home hermits celebrate casual Fridays. Q: If I work from home, do I still need a purse? A: Of course. Without a purse, what would you carry to the bathroom? Make sure your purse matches your pajamas, though. You would not want Nobody to catch you with a poorly coordinated wardrobe. Personally, I don't have a purse, but that's just a guy thing. Q: What about taking out the garbage? A: When the odor starts to repel the postman, you might need to take out the garbage (just in case there is a rare check in the mail). Wear your pajamas to the curb, but I suggest replacing your slippers with shoes. Snowshoes are recommended in Edmonton...except in July and August. Don't walk to the curb if you live on a houseboat. Q: I feel so alone. Is that normal? A: Get over it. You are part of a glorious economic movement, where people around the world choose to reject antiquated social norms and barricade themselves in their homes to make $53,976 in the first week of their new businesses. How could you feel lonely with so much money? Q: Wow. I made only $3 in my first week. I bet my husband $3 that I could stay in my home office for three straight days without coming out. I won the bet, but I was forced to shower. A: That's not a question. Q: OK, what if I make only $3 a week? A: You might have to share your pajamas with Nobody...until you can afford a second pair. Q: Is this really a growing trend? A: Yes. The International Institute of Social Isolation reports that by 2055, 95% of people will be operating a home based business. The National Organization for Studying You (NOSY) reports that by 2055, 95% of people will be sharing their pajamas with Nobody...until they can afford a second pair. Q: Wow. That's a lot of pajamas. What does this mean for the future. A: It means the pajama industry will become a major economic force. Q: Do you know any good pajama-based mutual funds I could invest in to take advantage of this trend? A: No, but how rich can you get investing $3 a week, anyway? That's it, everything you wanted to know about fashion etiquette for the work-from-home hermit. One more thing: if you provide feedback to this article on a casual Friday, please turn off your web cam. About The Author David Leonhardt writes the Happy Guy humor column: http://www.thehappyguy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html and A Daily Dose of Happiness: http://www.thehappyguy.com/daily-happiness-free-ezine.html . He also wrote Inspiration & Motivation To Go http://www.thehappyguy.com/l/daily-motivation-inspiration.php and Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness: http://www.thehappyguy.com/happiness-self-help-book.html
MORE RESOURCES:
Humor - Google News | | | | RELATED ARTICLES [Not So] Outgoing Mail I am currently perplexed by the concept of outgoing mail. I mean, I understand it in theory, but today I tried talking to it and it didn't even respond. Its All About Seeing the Signs Ace of Base hasn't seen the sign for quite some time now, but that doesn't stop the rest of us from doing so. In fact, on a regular basis, I see a lot of signs - and I don't like most of them. Psychiatric Psychiatrist - A Joke on Psychiatry A few weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist.We talked about how I was feeling. Eye Spy Potatoes Lately I've had the problem of falling asleep with my contact lenses still in my eyes. And by "lately," I mean for the past seven years. A Lawyers Favorite Lawyer Jokes Lawyer JokesQ: How does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a future lawyer?A: She has an extreme craving for baloney.Q: What is the legal definition of "Appeal"?A: Something a person slips on in a grocery store. When It Rains, It Pours: Creating a Plan It's time for me to announce that I have a lot of skeletons in my closet. I keep them there to stop people from stealing my jackets. The Top 10 All Time Worst Jokes About Piano Players Here, for your barfing pleasure, are the top ten worst jokes of all time about piano players. Nothing personal, you understand, since I am one. Important Safety Tip$ I was given a list of Do's and Don'ts of interacting with people who have dementia. I've modified this list only slightly to guide you in safely interacting with corporate executives. Cheer-Leadership or All I Need to Know About Business I Learned from Cheerleading Thanks to teen movies, many people have this stereotypical idea of cheerleaders as being ditzy and mean. However, there are a great many life-lessons that can be learned during your time on the team that have surprising application in the business world. Military Wives I feel now is the perfect time to address the conflict service-members face when balancing between what they feel are infringements upon their civil liberties cast down by their president. I have never been one to get involved with inter-service rivalries because I have always felt we must remain, "We band of brothers" and support and defend our own constitutions against all enemies, either foreign wives or domestic. Painful Lessons from the Maternity Ward Whoever dubbed New York, New York "the city that never sleeps" should visit The Maternity Ward. My recent visit included a drop-in on several screenings of "A Star Is Born" at the late-show theatre, right near Mama's Breast (all night milk bar) and Papa's Gas Station ("We burp you on your way. Saving SpongeBob Using High Tech Put Active RFID Satellite Tags in SpongeBobsSpongeBob has been in the news a lot lately, he has been a kidnapped Victim. Instead of wasting time with an Amber Alert for SpongeBob, why not put an Active RFID Satellite Tags in the SpongeBobs so we can track them to the culprits. Discover the Lighter Side of the Internet We all know the Internet is a great tool for finding out information and sharing knowledge. But as a human sometimes sitting at a computer all day can get quite tedious, especially if it is your job 5 days a week. Used Condom Found In Restaurant Salad Bar; Waiter Embarrassed To Tears Evidence of after-hours activity turned up at a Big Boy restaurant salad bar in Detroit last week, embarrassing not only the perpetrators, but nearly everyone associated with the company.Apparently, Mike Finney and Rhonda Carrion were working together to close down the restaurant's soup, salad and dessert bar and, with no one else around, culminated a night of flirting with sexual intercourse right on the bar. Got Originality? There are many ways to be original these days. But unfortunately I cannot reveal any of these ways because the followers would then not be original, would they? Now, I realize that somewhere between one to two people would have followed the advice I gave, but just in case my calculations were off - and it turns out three would have followed - I need to be careful about what I write ?One slogan which completely frustrates me due to its lack of originality is "got ____?" That's right - that lowercase phrase which was formerly synonymous with milk (and is now synonymous with everything) is so clich that it's even clich to write "got clich?" But the worst is not behind us. 11 Alternative Garden Games Tired of the same ol', same ol' when it come to entertaining your garden party guests? Weary of boring badminton and jarts? Croquet not your style? Then you're in the right spot! Here are games sure to make your next party the hit of the gardening social season!Icebreakers Game #1: The Gnat Slap Equipment required: A garden of any size. As your guests arrive, invite them for the obligatory 'stroll through the garden'. Dog Poo - And You Thought You Had Problems In Southern Germany in a town by the name of Bayreuth, the German police are in a quandary. The town's dog poo is under attack. Cant Get There From Here Can't Get There From Here Juneau is the capital of Alaska, but did you know that you cannot drive there from anywhere? You can fly into Juneau or you can take a ferry to Juneau, but you can't actually drive there. There are no roads into Juneau. Norm Goldman Interviews Comedienne Fran Capo,the Guinness Book Worlds Record for the Fastest Talking Today, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasures is delighted to have as a guest, Fran Capo.Fran is quite a "cool person," as she is an eight-time author, humorist, voiceover artist, comedienne, adventurer, actress, freelance writer and keynote motivational speaker. And the World Goes Round If you are a citizen of UK or Australia, you are permitted to snicker at this problem. Anchorage, Alaska, just opened its first two roundabouts at a major intersection. |
| home | site map | Heart-Links.com Site | Start Your Online Business for Just $8.95 |
| © 2006 |
