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Happiness Information.... from Heart-Links.com |
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Growing Up BackwardsIt seems like I set out in this life to do things my own way and in my own time - no matter what was wise or prudent or tried, tested and true. And, regardless of the advice I give my own daughters, I continue to 'grow up backwards.' To my daughters I say things like: "You have all the time in the world, enjoy now, figure out what you want and who you are before you begin to think about starting a family." "Take your time - get into a relationship because you WANT to, not because you feel you NEED to." "Listen to your gut, your 'inner bell'. Do what makes you feel full of life and secure in the knowledge that you're where you need to be at this moment." "Don't look for a man to complete you - look for a man to complement you." "Learn how to make yourself happy - never expect another human being to take on that responsibility." And, I'm right, I know I am - doesn't every mom know that? Thing is, it took me two marriages (and subsequent divorces), six kids and living as a single mom for five years to learn those lessons. Most kids (at least when I was a teen) grew up, graduated high school, went to college, dated, had fun, and THEN settled down to have a family. They gave themselves a chance to spread their wings and find out who they were and what they wanted before they allowed their wings to be clipped by marriage and parenthood. Not me. I got married at 17, first child at 18. Now, at age 40, I have six children ranging in ages from almost 22 to 12 and am in my sixth year of 'independence.' I have finally learned the lessons I'm trying to teach my own children. I know my words are true because I'm living both the results of learning their wisdom and the results of ignoring it. I did it backwards. So I know what it's like from both perspectives. I know that my own happiness is dependent upon me - no one else. When you burden another human being with the responsibility for your own happiness, you're setting them up for failure and yourself up for pain. I've learned that when you look to someone to complete you, you drain their very being. Most folks have enough problems dealing with themselves - their own dreams and fears and flaws and responsibilities. When you find someone to complement you - then you can find out what real friendship is, what real unconditional love is - what real peace is. I've learned that I don't need a man. Sure, there's a lot I miss. I miss the hugs, the laughs, the strength, the partnership, the feeling that I'm not always in this 'all alone'. And it's ok to miss those things. But I don't NEED one. Someday I will probably want another relationship. But I don't have to have one now - because I'm finally learning who I am and what I'm capable of - and it's much more than I ever gave myself credit for. And that is super cool. I know that I've lived the majority of my 40 years for someone else - a parent, a husband, a child - and that's ok - it taught me, molded me, strengthened me. I wouldn't change the pattern of my life if I could. But when you finally figure out who you are - and further, figure out that you LIKE who you are, the difference in the level of chaos inside is absolutely astounding. I am me, I like me, there's things I am working to change and there's things that I'm very proud of - but no matter what, I like me - no matter WHAT someone else thinks or says. That is the ultimate freedom - and one you can't teach your children - they just have to learn it - maybe backwards. And that's ok, too. Dee is a Certified Aromatherapist, Certified Reflexologist, and Reiki Master. Her site is AkobiAromas.com - a source of quality aromatherapy, herbal and reflexology information and products.
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Happiness - Google News | | | | RELATED ARTICLES Health and Medical Advice on the Internet: Use it Wisely to Overcome Illness and Find More Happiness I've got a bit of a problem with depression and anxiety. I've been tackling these problems for several years without the use of modern medicine. Reframing with NLP For Enhanced Happiness I used to work for the Independent National Newspaper in Canary Wharf, London. I can remember in the build up to Christmas, my department was having a large & expensive new computer system installed because the newspaper was being relaunched, it was when Andrew Marr and Rosie Boycott were becoming joint editors, I digress?. Find Shortcuts To Happiness If someone said you could feel inner peace and joy by just deciding to do it, would you believe them? Well, we're telling you just that! Anyone can choose inner comfort, ease or a feeling of well-being by learning simple tools that will teach you how to make these decisions. Here's a taste of one of the 6 Shortcuts To Happiness we teach at The Option Institute and how you can begin to use it now:Being GratefulTake a few moments to sit with your eyes closed and find a quiet place inside yourself. Ways to Bring Play into Your Life 1. roll around in the grass, and don't brush the grass off. Keys to Happiness "Happiness is the whole aim and end of human existence" - Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony" - Mahatma GandhiUnderlying the reasons why clients have come to me over the years is the desire for happiness. What is happiness? Conventional wisdom often defines happiness as status, financial security, worldly goods, possessions, lifestyle, accomplishments etc. How To Dance With Life Fortunate, indeed, is the man who takes exactly the right measure of himself,and holds a just balance between what he can acquire and what he can use.~Peter Latham (1789-1875) In the Chinese philosophy of Taoism, right action and right living create a life of harmony and delight. Emotional Baggage We all have them. It has many faces. Divining your Number of Destiny Your Destiny Number, which describes all of the talents and potentials that are at your disposal in this lifetime, is calculated from the letters that compose your full birth name. This is not your married name, but rather the name that is found written in full on your birth certificate. Most of Your Unhappiness in Life is Due to... I want to share with you today one of those great moments, when you suddenly experience a life changing burst of clarity. When suddenly the answer you're searching for becomes so obvious - it's right there in front of you, and all you can say is "Wow! Why didn't I realise that before?"This was the first of several moments of awakening for me, following my breakdown in early January 2005. 5 Fabulous B's for the Happiest You! Sure it sounds easy? "Be happy." Let's face it there is a little art and a lot of personal measures you can take to reveal true and lasting happiness. Hanging Out Right off the top: What is the difference between dating and hanging out?My teens try to differentiate the two by saying that dating is what you do with someone you want to be serious with. Hanging Out is what you do with good friends. Simple Pleasures: Ingredients to Feed Your Spirit. "When we do something we love, again and again, our life comes to hold the fragrance of that thing. ~ Wayne MullenCold air slips through the cracks in my doorway and around my windows. Flowers Truly Reach Your Soul Flowers are a simple, sincere and unobtrusive way to lift our spirits. They can bring a smile to a tired face or brighten up a room for someone who is under the weather. Stop Sickies and Make People Happy At Work If you're an employer or a manager then work place absence is costing you money, inconvenience, and upsetting your customers. And as we all know, not all days taken off work are due to genuine sickness. A Shortcut to Happiness -- Vote with Live 8 Did you see any of the Live 8 performances in support of stopping poverty in Africa? Here's your chance to create a shortcut to your own happiness by voting to help others. You can support the creation of the happiness of survival for them. Discover the 10 Golden Rules on How To Conquer Your Fear We all want happiness and peace of mind. In the search for these blessings, millions of people take "happy pills" which they hope will relieve their tensions and make them feel more cheerful. 10 Tips for Living the Life of Your Dreams Why Are You Here?When I ask this question, I'm not inquiring why you are in the location you're in, or why you are in the city you're in, or even why you are in whatever country you're in.I ask the question, because I'm wondering why you exist at all?In the fall of 2003, I released a book I wrote called The Why Are You Here Café. Can Money Buy You Happiness? Well, doesn't that depend on what's causing you to be unhappy, in the first place?If you've just lost a loved one, no amount of money will make you happy, only time and your own attitude will eventually lessen the pain and hopefully bring some joy back into your life.However, if a stack of unpaid bills is facing you each day, wouldn't enough money to pay them, not make you happy? If you are someone you love, needs expensive medical care and you can't afford it, would money not be the happy answer?So, before we adopt some of these truisms about money, we should see how they apply to the reality of the situation. Ode to Chocolate Chocolate delays reality. When I am eating chocolate, everything is on hold: anxiety, panic, frustrations, and insecurity. The Year Of Happiness I have decided to declare 2004 as the YEAR OF HAPPINESS for me. What about you? Yes, you can also do so! Anyone living in any part of the world has the right to be happy and enjoy every moment of his/her life. |
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