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Dating Information.... from Heart-Links.com |
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Does No mean Yes?A recent sexual assault on our campus was a wake-up call to those who thought that our small-town university was safe. But rape by strangers is only one aspect of the problem. What about acquaintance rape and date rape? One study found that 25% of the female college students surveyed had at least one experience of forced intercourse, and that 93% of these episodes involved acquaintances. College administrators and campus police estimate that date rape or acquaintance rape happens to one-fifth of college women, and one-fourth of college women will experience either attempted or completed forced sex. This is something we all need to discuss and decide, one by one, what we can do about it. And Christians on campus need to be prepared to offer more than scriptural "Thou shalt not's." "Just say no" is no more a panacea for acquaintance/date rape than it is for the problem of illicit drugs. Often, even when the woman says "No!" or "Stop!" the guy doesn't stop, or even slow down. He coaxes, pleads, and pressures. He may even ridicule, threaten, or get rough. He thinks "no" means "maybe" and "maybe" might just mean "yes." Here are some practical suggestions for women. Decide what is your own personal, definite standard of how far is acceptable, based on solid reasons drawn from morality (what is right?), physiology (what will arouse beyond stopping?), and psychology (what might he wrongly assume?). Explore the potential mental conflicts the dating situation might create. You may often find yourself trying to weigh the value of maintaining your standards against the value of not hurting his feelings, or of maintaining the relationship, or even of ensuring your personal safety. Learn from others the consequences of not communicating your standards clearly and forcefully--before you learn it from painful and bitter experience. Develop effective, assertive ways of saying "no" or "stop" without lying, hurting, or estranging. All of this thinking-through is best done alone, away from the critical, split-second decision-making you might have to do on a date. Another important point to remember is how often alcohol is connected with date rape. In fact, it is directly involved in a large majority of cases. Guys looking for a new conquest know that even a beer or two will lower your resistance. If you are aware of this ploy, you can guard against it. Of course, avoiding date rape is not just the woman's responsibility. Each man who dates must also develop his own convictions. Decide how far is too far. Stop thinking of and treating women as commodities and start esteeming them as persons with inestimable worth. God sees each of them as one "for whom Christ died" (Rom. 14:15; 1 Cor. 8:11). How priceless, then, she must be! Did you know that respect from you and for you is one of the highest values most women want in a growing relationship? Cultivate her respect by establishing your own standards rather than relying on her to determine when to stop. Resolve never to overcome "No!" with coaxing, ridicule, or any kind of manipulation or coercion. Appreciate the value of self-control as an important step you can take now toward becoming a world-class lover when and if you get married. The goal both of you have in most dates is to develop a deeper, more satisfying relationship. Heterosexual intercourse is designed by God to be the fullest and deepest expression of such a relationship, provided it is experienced in an environment of concern, trust, and mutual respect. Such an environment only marriage can provide. Here are three passages that will help you know where to draw the line:
Steve Singleton has written and edited several books and numerous articles on subjects of interest to Bible students. He has taught Greek, Bible, and religious studies courses Bible college, university, and adult education programs. He has taught seminars and workshops in 11 states and the Caribbean. Go to his DeeperStudy.org for Bible study resources, no matter what your level of expertise. Explore "The Shallows," plumb "The Depths," or use the well-organized "Study Links" for original sources in English translation. Sign up for Steve's free "DeeperStudy Newsletter."
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Dating - Google News | | | | RELATED ARTICLES How to Get More Responses at Online Dating Sites So, you've decided to join a dating website. You're hoping someone out there will find something interesting about you and try to get to know you better. Love Could Be An Errand Away You have signed up on several large dating sites and posted a great profile. So far, you've had some nice responses, but these haven't led to a meeting yet. The Key to Reaching the Next Level in Dating Success Back in the days when I was a teenager, I actually had reasonable success with women, but it was far from consistent. Many of my behaviors and attitudes were anything but high-status. Meeting Other Singles By Doing Something You Love Meet Other Singles by Doing Something You LoveHere's one the best ways I have found to meet other singles while enjoying what you would do anyway.Create your own group to do something that you enjoy. Dating Tips: How to Get Yourself A Date Well, if you didn't give that someone a bad impression of yourself, chances are, both of you would be already friends at least? A friend, not being dislike by him or her? Ok, now it's the time you can progress a little further, taking a little more actions. But before so, it might be good to take notes of the followings:For Guys, please understand that girls enjoy the process of being pursued. Dating On The Internet Is Growing! See How Online Dating Can Help You Find Available Singles Today Dating on the Internet is growing rapidly year after year, because it has become very difficult for most people to meet quality singles in their local communities and find compatible matches!When it comes to meeting new people, we tend to create an urgency, and we put a large amount of stress on ourselves to unite with someone quickly, without taking the time to really get to know the person and see their true qualities.Where sometimes you just don't have all the answers on a date, the first thing you need to ask yourself is, what are you looking for?Are you looking to have fun and meet a variety of people on a casual basis, or do you want to seriously establish a relationship, which can eventually turn into a love match? The decision is yours!In the first meeting it's all about honesty, which most of us throw out the window on the first date! I know you heard it before, but it's true! As you begin the matchmaking process through different dating avenues, you will make your life so much simpler if you're totally honest with yourself and the person you're with. Use The Fated Encounter For First Date Seduction Success Every woman has a fantasy from the time she was a little girl, triggered by a constant diet of romance movies and novels, about fate bringing the man of her dreams to her.In one typical scene the guy and the girl almost bump into each other on the sidewalk. Is Your Baggage Holding You Back? Here you are single again and ready to re-enter the big scary world of dating, and like most everyone, you bring along "baggage". We all have it; some more than others, however, now is the time to analyze the necessity of that baggage in your new life. Good Places to Meet Excellent Men So, you're convinced that you have zero opportunities to meet men.Are you stuck in an office all day with the same stiffs day in and day out? Have you tried singles' dances, only to leave feeling worse than when you went in? Did the last loser your aunt set you up with squash your Chihuahua when he screeched up the driveway?Well, don't fret. Top Ten Ways to Set Appropriate Expectations for Dating 1) Give yourself time to get back into the groove of datingIf you haven't dated in a while it may require an investment of time and effort on your part if you are ultimately looking for a soul-mate. As we get older and learn from our experiences our requirements for an ideal mate may change and some things that were must haves may become negotiable. Top 10 Photo Blunders The following no-nonsense list was compiled from interviews with long-time online daters and the business executives and support staff of several major online dating services. What's the bottom line? The single most important part of online dating is how you handle the simple act of representing yourself with photos. Donald Trump and the Apprentice Rules Applied to Dating I was reading an article about the Apprentice and some of the rules that Donald Trump and his apprentice assistants had come up with about business. While reading a lot of them I saw a huge relation to how these same rules also apply to dating as crazy as it might sound. Adult Dating: Friend or Foe - Your Sex Life and the Internet! There was a time when finding a date, partner, lover or playmate online was frowned upon. It was for people who couldn't get a date any other way! Oh how things have changed?not only can you sign up to a site listing thousands of singles who match your height, size, location and taste in food?now you can choose your sex partners too. Meeting Your Online Date in Safety Here are some common sense safety tips for meeting your online date in person. Your instincts will play a strong role in keeping you safe too, so listen to them and take action if you feel uncomfortable or alarmed at any time. Free Online Chat! What Are The True Costs Of Free As you're surfing the Internet and coming across titles claiming free online chat? What does this mean, and is it really for free?Most dating chat rooms and free online dating chat lines allege that the service they offer have no charge, but as you get familiar with a particular chat room, you soon find out there is a price associated to their online service!Now it all depends on what you're looking for in a chat service, and in order to find the right one for you without paying un-necessary fees!You should ask yourself, is this going to be for the free games, or for the entertainment of a chat room, where you can meet, and talk to interesting people from all over the world?Do you want to go a step further and get involved in free dating, and try and meet someone special for a possible love match.Chat rooms can be a great place to get your voice out into the world and get noticed; however, our goal is to inform you of your options, and that not all chat sites are created equal. Internet Dating Tips for Beginners There are lots of Internet dating sites available. Some are completely free and others are payable sites. Confessions of a Professional Matchmaker Don't make these mistakes when searching for love online!"I spent my life searching for the perfect woman. I finally found her but alas, she was searching for the perfect man. Does Internet Dating Work? What's the Number One Question that Everyone Asks About CyberDating?Everyone -- and that included YOU! -- wants to know: "Does Internet Dating Work?"Well, I KNOW it works, and in the best possible way, because I met my husband Drew on Match.com in May 1998. Online Dating, Why Not? So, you're looking to meet that "special someone". You have tried the bars, blind dates, churches, grocery stores, etc, all with little or no success. Dating Rules You Cant Afford to Break If you are single and you want men to desire your company more and truly cherish you, then here are eleven dating rules you cannot afford to break:1. Never go to bed with a man on the first date - As much as you would like to ravish the hunk you have a crush on, do not let him feel that you are cheap and easy by going to bed with him on your first date. |
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