| |
| |
|
Dating Information.... from Heart-Links.com |
|
A Nice Guys Guide to Dating SuccessHas it ever happened to you? Have you ever had the experience of liking a woman, being a perfect gentleman, and treating her like a queen, only to have her reject you in favor of someone else (possibly very handsome) who doesn't treat her right, or doesn't seem to care about her much at all? These kinds of men have been called "bad boys," "charm boys," or "players." When you are interested in women, do they tend to see you as a friend or "brother" rather than a romantic interest? Do women tell you you're "too nice"? If so, you are not alone. This article will give you, the nice guy, some tips on how to use charm-boy traits to your advantage, while retaining your nice-guy values. Let's brainstorm for a minute. What makes charm boys or players attractive? They are fun, spontaneous, unpredictable, mysterious, and act as if they don't care what others think of them (also known as confidence). They follow their own rules and don't let others (including their dates) walk all over them. And they often look good. So what can you do? You don't have to engage in risk-taking behaviors in order to succeed with women. Suggest some "safe" ideas on the spur of the moment; for example, "Let's go get some sushi/ice cream/a Margarita," or, "Let's go for a drive and see where we end up." If this is not the usual "you," you may enjoy your new-found spontaneity. You can be mysterious/unpredictable without violating your principles. Don't call her the day after getting her phone number or the day after a date. Give her time to wonder whether you'll call; keep her guessing. People often want what isn't easy to get, and women like a little challenge. You're the man. Many women are looking for men who are confident and decisive, who can be relied on to get things done. On a date, take command but don't be pushy. Always have a Plan A and a Plan B, so you don't miss the concert just in case the restaurant loses your reservation and there's a 1-1/2-hour wait. But always be flexible, in case your date hates Chinese food, for example, or she just told you her favorite musical group is in town, tonight only. Low-cost dates conducive to getting to know each other include the zoo, a museum, or miniature golf. In addition to saving you money, these low-cost dates also minimize the feeling that you have to "spoil" her or "buy" her affection with an extravagant wining-and-dining evening. And if she likes you, she won't mind a "cheap" date; she just wants to be with you. Keep it light and upbeat. Don't be needy or act nervous. You might be a bit anxious while on a date, but she doesn't need to know that. Keep things light and humorous, and pay attention to her. That in itself will help you take the focus off you and help you feel more confident. And be a gentleman (you're already good at this). For example, always offer to pick up the tab unless she insists on paying, open doors for her, etc. But don't overdo the gifts, lest you appear desperate. Let her talk. This is where nice guys have an advantage. Most women like to communicate verbally and welcome the chance to be heard. (But make sure you listen; don't just let your mind wander.) She will be impressed if you remember details about things that are important to her, such as her pet's name or her favorite book. If you met her online, review her profile for questions you can ask her about her interests. Neatness counts. Take another hint from the charm boys. You don't have to be a Brad Pitt look-alike, but make the most of what you have. Review your grooming, clothes, and accessories with an objective eye. If you want feedback, ask a friend--possibly a female friend--for honest input. Or tune into one of the new TV shows which focus on wardrobe/grooming tips for men. Have a life (and a backbone). Just because you are dating a woman doesn't mean you drop everything else (including your own friends, hobbies, and interests). After all, relationships can come and go. Keep being yourself. You are not always at her beck and call. When you really don't want to do something (for example, if she wants you to cancel your ballgame or night out with your friends to go shoe shopping with her), it's okay to decline. Telling her no may be difficult for nice guys, but if she's worth keeping, she will respect you for this and value her time with you more. To soften the blow, you might offer her an alternative get-together. For example, "Sorry I can't make it on Saturday. How about I take you to that new play you've been wanting to see on Sunday instead?" How does she rate? Remember: You have the right to evaluate her, not just the other way around. Does she deserve a second date? Is she relationship material (if that's what you're looking for)? Just because she's attractive/smart/classy doesn't necessarily mean she's right for you. Does she treat you well? Is she kind? Does she have decent self-esteem? Is she giving? If you're looking for a long-term relationship, can you see yourself still with her in 20 years, when some of the supermodel looks may have begun to fade? The good news for nice guys is that as women get older, perhaps having survived a bad-boy heartbreak or two, they are more likely to appreciate nice guys. Make a list of your good points, the qualities you have to offer. Keep at it. And start believing that you are a catch (or at least act like it)! For more information, visit the author's website http://www.therapy-conscious.com Copyright 2004, Ann L. Palik Ann L. Palik is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles, California, specializing in helping single people create healthy relationships.
MORE RESOURCES:
Dating - Google News | | | | RELATED ARTICLES Internet Dating - Introduction So you're single. And you don't want to be single any longer. How To Make A Lasting Impression How many times have you felt the urge to impress a girl you've just met ? I'm talking about the kind of burning need that you feel, the compulsive urge that tells your brain that you've got to impress this girl at any cost; the kind of impression that leaves your imprint in her mind. Catch my drift ???For starters, you've got to be well groomed; appearance plays an important role in the formation of first impression. Dating While Seeking GOD- A Road Less Traveled Why is it when it comes to dating that we go from one relationship right into another, searching for something from someone that only God is capable of giving us? Why do we think that leaping into another courtship will change our thinking and current situation in our lives?We seem to have this delusion that we will live a happily ever after if we just find someone that will tell us what we want to hear and treat us the way we want to be treated. Then when God does bring us someone that tells the truth we find ourselves uncomfortable and go to someone who makes us feel better even though their not being honest with us. How to Get a Date Step #1- The first impression. Before you approach a girl or women, you need to know a few obvious formalities. I Found Love On a Online Dating Site Over the past few years, I discovered a few personality traits about myself that I wanted to change. When it comes to relationships I have had a hard time changing. Dating in a Modern World As the UK Online Dating market keeps on growing day by day, there is more and more of a gap to fill these services. This is where ukdatemate. 10 Tips for Seniors Dating Online We would like to take a few minutes of your time to discuss safety while using online dating websites. While online dating is safe, fun and affordable, it also can bring unwanted attention in many ways. Is Online Dating For You After A Divorce? Until Death Do You Part?That certainly was a lie. Your spouse got the house, a younger you, and you got the children. Online Dating for Beginners There are many online dating sites, all of them require you to be at least 18 years of age. The two that I really liked, were Match. Attract the Love of Your Life Have you heard about the technique Olympic athletes use to help them win gold medals?In addition to conventional practice, they do some critical mental work as well. They close their eyes and "see" themselves making the winning basket, being first across the finish line, etc. Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places? You've hung out in bars, you've answered the personals, you've maxed out the plastic trolling online dating sites, and you still haven't met the right person. Or, you've ended up dating a series of potential perfect matches, only to be disappointed. Finding Your Dream Date Sometimes Takes Guts! My husband and I used to live in NYC. WE would often take dog for a walk last night to get her and us exercise. Oops, I Did It Again Oops! I did it again!So you are licking your wounds. Your relationship came to a bad end. Quality Adult Personals Quality adult personals are becoming harder to find these days. The recent growth in the online dating world has created a polluted industry, leaving only a handful of good quality sites. Mens Guide To Online Dating Success. Secret Seduction Tips Revealed! Looking To Meet Women? Craving Female Company?Well, you've come to the right place! The internet is an ENDLESS supply of quality ladies for you to date and have a lot of FUN!Regardless of your situation, age or looks, YOU can do this!Bored of sitting at home on the weekends and going to bed alone?How would you feel if you could meet and seduce women as often as you liked?How much confidence and sense of well being would that give you?Society is structured so that men have to be the aggressors in the seduction of women. That is a fact. COMING SOON??Online Attractions In my attempts to find the love of my life, I knew that they were not going to be found in the town where I lived, so I took to the Internet. My first experience was the result of a television commercial. Dating On The Internet Is Growing! See How Online Dating Can Help You Find Available Singles Today Dating on the Internet is growing rapidly year after year, because it has become very difficult for most people to meet quality singles in their local communities and find compatible matches!When it comes to meeting new people, we tend to create an urgency, and we put a large amount of stress on ourselves to unite with someone quickly, without taking the time to really get to know the person and see their true qualities.Where sometimes you just don't have all the answers on a date, the first thing you need to ask yourself is, what are you looking for?Are you looking to have fun and meet a variety of people on a casual basis, or do you want to seriously establish a relationship, which can eventually turn into a love match? The decision is yours!In the first meeting it's all about honesty, which most of us throw out the window on the first date! I know you heard it before, but it's true! As you begin the matchmaking process through different dating avenues, you will make your life so much simpler if you're totally honest with yourself and the person you're with. Seduction Secrets For Men Part 2 - Your Looks DO Matter When it comes to the topic of looks with women, most guys are usually clueless and confused. They tend to think in extremities: you either need to look like Brad Pitt to pick up decent looking women, or you can look like a homeless and still get laid. Mom Says So, you're a member of every suitable on-line dating site, you hang out at all the right spots and feverishly attend networking events, you've answered personal ads that appeal to you and you still haven't met the one. Or if you're like me, you've dated a series of potential perfect matches only to be left with disappointment. "Dating Again" Redefined Define dating again as The Joy Of Dating Again. It is all about rediscovering ourselves, and then sharing with others our growth and realizations. |
| home | site map | Heart-Links.com Site | Start Your Online Business for Just $8.95 |
| © 2006 |
