| |
| |
|
Dating Information.... from Heart-Links.com |
|
The Perfect Person"When you truly look for me, You will find me." Kabir We all want love. Then, when we get it, we become afraid and start to run in the opposite direction. On the one hand we are searching for love, searching for some lasting relationship. On the other hand, we are relieved when the person goes away. It always "seems" as if relationships are difficult. They seem difficult to find, to keep and to enjoy.Yet, the fundamental truth is: there is no inherent problem with relationships. There is never a scarcity of relationships. There is never a scarcity of love. Love is our natural condition, why aren't we The most common answer to this question is that we must find the perfect person. There is always something wrong with the people we meet. We have not yet found the "right" person, who can make us really happy. Or, if we have found him/her, that person has now left us and nobody will ever take their place again. At this point we still believe that another person can make us happy. But, all right, let us look for a moment at what we're dreaming of. Take a moment to see clearly who this perfect person is to you. Sit down and write a description of how you would imagine your perfect partner to be. Let yourself daydream. Write down all the qualities such a person would have. Now, write a paragraph describing how you would have to be in order to have such a partner. (Daydreams have power). Just doing this exercise you may begin to laugh. There may be wild discrepancies between how you see yourself now and how you feel your wouldhave to be to hold such a perfect partner. What else might you discover? You might also discover that you do not really like this perfect person after all. He/she may only be some kind of ego-ideal. (Someone to build up your own self-image). An attitude like this is based upon non-acceptance of who and what we really are.When we use another person to build up our own self-image, this kind of relationship is grounded in fear. Love can never be built upon a foundation that is not real. If we do not feel good within ourselves, is it really so surprising we may not really be so eager, after all, for this perfect There are many ways people keep love away. Some constantly fall into relationships only with difficult people. In this manner they insure that they will either be rejected, or have to reject the other. Rejection can feel more comfortable and familiar than the experience of love. Take a long, hard, good look at this. Look at what it is in you that feels it must keep love away. We cannot be open to love and relationship until we are able to release our fear of and desire for rejection. Once this pattern is dealt with, all of life opens its many doors. As this happens it is inevitable to realize that love is free, it flows everywhere. It flows to everyone regardless of their qualities. Love has nothing to do with any images or fantasies of how somebody else "should be", or how we "should be" either. Each person is the perfect person just as they are. When you begin finding the beauty in everyone, then the right one for you just walks through the door. . Start today. Look around for a moment. See who is really in your life. Look at this person. Are you willing to love them? Really? What will happen if they start to love you too? Anything we can't love or accept in another, is a mirror of something we can't love or accept in our ourselves. All it takes is one moment to decide to turn that around. Try for a moment. See how wonderful it feels. Here is a lovely exercise. Close your eyes, look at yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you. Open your eyes a moment. Close them again, and look at yourself now through your own eyes. Open your eyes. Can you choose to look at yourself and others, through the eyes of someone who loves them? If you can, you will be amazed at all the love that starts flowing to you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D., psychologist, speaker and author is a long term Zen practitioner whose work integrates Zen and everyday life. The relationship expert on i.village.com, she is the author of many books. The most recent is Living By Zen (Timeless Truths For Everyday Life), http://www.livingbyzen.com. She is also the author of Zen And The Art of Falling In Love, (Simon and Schuster), Zen Miracles, (Finding Peace In An Insane World) and many other books. She can be reached at topspeaker@yahoo.com Her personal website is http://www.brendashoshanna.com -
MORE RESOURCES:
Dating - Google News | | | | RELATED ARTICLES Online Dating Tips - Creating Personal Ads Creating a personal ad for online dating services is not difficult, but how well you write your personal ads will often be the difference between success and failure in online dating. All the rules that apply to advertising in business still apply, and those who define and attract their target audience will be the successful ones. 10 Tips for Seniors Dating Online We would like to take a few minutes of your time to discuss safety while using online dating websites. While online dating is safe, fun and affordable, it also can bring unwanted attention in many ways. A guide for being single in Mimasaka, Okayama Prefecture "A Tsuyama singles scene?" scoffs single Mimasaka resident Hiroyiki Matsuda. "There isn't one. Use The Boyfriending Technique To Get The Girl In order for a typical woman to have sex with a man, she must have feelings of comfort and trust. It is not enough for her to simply feel attraction for the guy. Does Online Dating Work? Dating Online is currently the Internets biggest craze, and its here to stay! But does it actually work?I mean, there are tons of Dating websites, but their success with matchmaking is kept rather low key, and I found out why.When I was searching for Online dating websites, I felt that I couldn't trust many of the companies and that they were just trying to get money out of me. Men: Never Compliment a Woman You Want to Date Hello Lucia,I regularly compliment women and tell them that I am interested in them. Is this the kiss of death? I hear being aloof and stand-offish is more intriguing and works better in trying to get a woman's attention, especially in the beginning. Three Keys to Wonderful Dating Experience Forget the flowers and the scent. To improve your chances of both finding a date and then having a really wonderful dating experience, probably here are three key dating tips that start at home. Cut Cupid Some Slack Valentine's Day!What a great idea to set aside a day for remembering those we love. It's even more than just remembering; it's romancing. Friday Night Fitness Dates Close your eyes and imagine this romantic setting: an intimate picnic on the beach, you and your mate enjoying strawberries from a fresh fruit salad, and both of you enjoying the ocean breeze as plans are being made for your next date. All of this, of course, after you jogged with your sweetie on the beach at sunset. Self-Esteem It begins with you, and your attitude. There are a lot of misconceptions about what type of guys women date. Online Dating - How To Avoid Faked Photos One of the great things about online dating is the ability to read the profiles of hundreds of people in the peace and quiet of your own home. You can scan for key interests and age groups in perfect anonymity without expressing your preferences "in public". Look Your Best With Some First Date Grooming Tips So the big night is quickly approaching, your first big date with the cutie you have been eyeing. So what do you need to get ready for that first big date? You need to look good! First impressions are everything, and everybody likes to know that they are with someone who values and takes care of themselves, so put the extra effort into looking your best. Dating Sites Are Bringing Millions Of Singles Together For Quality Online Relationships It's amazing how dating sites are helping over a million single men and women establish quality relationships online!With sophisticated technology in place, they can easily provide quality services for dating singles with the same interests, and allow them to effortlessly communicate with a variety of members at one time.Whether you're a Christian single, a gay single, or just a single person looking to find swingers to add spice in your life, there's a unique dating service out there for you!Below, we have provided a list of online sites that are very well known to the dating industry, and provide the services that many people utilize to establish their unique profile match. Revealed: What Women Want When It Comes to a Guys Looks As part of my research for a guide to style, I put together a focus group of 6 randomly chosen hot, single women between 21 and 33, to find out what styles in men they considered hot.My goal was to find the things that they all agreed on. 10 Impressions on Online Dating Are you a little uncomfortable with the idea of Internet dating? Have you thought about how great it is for busy people; how convenient? Don't ever be duped by an online dating suitor. There are tales of deceit and heartbreak, don't be one of them. 3 Reasons Why Inner Game Will Help Your Love Life What Does `Inner Game` Mean?`Inner Game` is what we call the continual process of mental health with regards to dealing with attractive members of the opposite sex, and people in general. It also means replacing negative conditioned thoughts that you may have held since childhood about women and society, with positive one`s that are not only true, but help you as well. Breaking Up The first thing you should do is talk about what happened, to your closest friend or family member. Just let it all out. E-Love at Easter! Part One Kiki sat on the park bench, staring ruefully at the passers by. Last night's row with Tolu was the cause of her blues. Dating in the New Millenium Over the past 20 years the face of dating has gone through some noticeable changes. Traditional methods of finding a date would be to rely on friends to play matchmaker or to attend bars, various different social events and parties. Four Dating Rules You Must Know To Transform Your Love Life Dating is the first step to love. I am going to give you a simple guide to find your dream-lover. |
| home | site map | Heart-Links.com Site | Start Your Online Business for Just $8.95 |
| © 2006 |
